Don’t ask your kids about grades, test scores or homework, advises Kerry Dickinson of the East Bay Homework Blog. Instead, focus on the content of the subject he or she is studying.
Instead of “What did you get on the test?” say, “What are you learning in science?” If you are connected to some school communication tool (like Schoolloop) you can look at homework assignments and grades privately. Benefits: you are teaching them to take ownership of their own schedules. You are letting them manage their own time. You are taking the focus off scores and putting it on learning.
Dickinson’s ”10 Tips to Start the School Year Off Right” offers a list of ideas from common sense to counterintuitive: Don’t overschedule your children; don’t sign your child up for academic tutoring unless he or she is in jeopardy of failing a class; and don’t attend every sports game or extracurricular activity (”your child will be participating for the love of the game or of the activity, not to earn your approval”).
(H/T: Kathleen Manzo via Twitter)
With my kids, I rely on two conversational approaches to elicit info after a day at school. One is that I ask about their friends. Who they had lunch with? What they played at recess? Since they like to talk about this, it has less of an inquisition feeling. Once they’re warmed up, I try to get them to talk about the content of courses. I actually try to follow a few of the kids courses with them so that I can discuss the materials with them.
Learning vs. grades is a big problem. Sometimes students care about one over the other. If either one suffers, you’re in trouble. Take a look at: http://higher-ed-reform.blogspot.com/. It has an interesting discussion on how to balance grades and learning.