Parents in one Rhode Island school district are wondering whether “grinding,” a sexually suggestive form of dancing, should be banned at school dances.
It’s gotten to the point where it’s uncomfortable to watch,” said Kate Macinanti, chairwoman of the high school’s dance committee – a subgroup of the South Kingstown High School Parent-Teacher Group. “A good portion of students aren’t interested in doing it, but there are students who do and when you have a young girl who is literally bent over with her hands on the floor and a boy behind her simulating a sex act, you have to wonder if we should be OK with it.”
A local paper points out the dancing styles of teenagers have irked adults for generations, ever since Elvis Presley shook his hips on stage, but Macinanti thinks when it comes to grinding, parents need to see it for themselves. “The majority of parents have not witnessed it personally, but when they witness someone so young in such a position, publicly, it really opens their eyes as to what’s going on,” said Macinanti, who worries that young girls who grind might be sending a message that their bodies are for public consumption or giving boys the false impression that they’re willing to have sex, even if they might not be.
Principal Robert McCarthy said South Kingstown doesn’t want to be one of the schools that banned dances outright, like some communities, nor does it want to turn a blind eye to behavior that is “inappropriate” at school functions. Instead, he hopes that the school can take advantage of its role as a place where discussions about appropriateness, dress, conduct, language and other similar conversations take place.
I’m with Macinanti. Having chaperoned 5th grade dances where some of the kids moves made me uncomfortable, the idea of kids simulating sex acts on the dance floor is well past my comfort zone. Yes, I’m now officially old.
One of the worst things about school dances is the awkwardness. Many kids have no idea how to dance, so they imitate their peers. Children should learn a few dances from a young age so that they have something to do on the dance floor.
That won’t put an end to inappropriate dancing, but at least it will give them an alternative.
Comment by Diana Senechal — November 28, 2009 @ 2:15 pm
Yes, but any dance you could learn at a young age from an adult would be too dorky to do at a high school dance…
Or perhaps “Dancing with the Stars” is changing that?
Comment by Rachel — November 28, 2009 @ 9:38 pm
Why is this so hard? Why don’t adults know what is acceptable in this situation? Why is there a problem with protecting children who are not ready for adult judgment calls and decisions?
Comment by Homeschooling Granny — November 28, 2009 @ 11:50 pm
I’m with H-Granny here–this is a place where adults have to step in and do their job. I have been sponsoring and chaperoning HS and MS dances for 30 years, and while the moves have changed over the years, it’s not at all difficult to identify inappropriate action on the dance floor. Diana’s right–kids do what they see their friends doing, because they’re trying to be cool and fit in. (And if they watched the AM Awards, you can see where they get the idea that simulating sexualized behavior must be OK.) Adults have to draw the line for them.
My experience has been that teachers make the best chaperons, because they’re unafraid to take swift action when they see kids grinding. Parents, on the other hand, seldom want to embarrass their own child by stepping on to the dance floor and–well, acting like a chaperon. So they go and find a teacher (and then tell all their neighbors about the terrible behavior at the dances).
The latest thing at my HS is swing dancing, BTW. One of the PE teachers taught a unit on dancing, and then those kids taught other kids. It’s great fun–some of them have mastered the lindy hop turns, whips and between-the-leg passes.
I do think this is cyclical. When I was in HS, in the 60s, the forbidden dance was the “gator” (on signal, drop to the floor, face first and…simulate). At my 40 year reunion, last summer, two men–after a lot of beer–decided to reprise the ol’ gator. One threw his back out and had to be helped off the floor.
Comment by Nancy Flanagan — November 29, 2009 @ 3:45 pm
This is why schools should offer square dance lessons.
Comment by Stuart Buck — November 30, 2009 @ 11:41 am
I hate grinding in school dances! I made a blog on Tumblr where people like you can voice your opinions on the issue! I tried it and I felt guilty, so I stopped doing that at homecoming in my senior year. Thank my lucky stars that I didn’t do it at prom!
Oh, and I recently wrote an article on how the waltz was considered dirty centuries ago but cleaner than grinding.
Comment by talfonso — September 27, 2010 @ 6:53 pm